LEONS, johnny frederick

[johnny frederick leons]

johnny frederick leons.

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DECEMBER 31ST, 2009.
"the family's downstairs, having a party. it is new year's eve after all. but i don't feel like being around people. there's too many things that they do wrong that i need to fix then. but mom and dad can't know that. neither can rosie or penny, they'd think i was crazy. my mom thinks people who have to take medicine to be normal are crazy. so does dad. and rosie. and penny. so i can't tell her i did research. and i think something's wrong with me. and i think i need to take medicine for it. but i need to find out more about this ocd stuff first before i jump to conclusions."

JANUARY 4TH, 2009.
"mom took me to the doctor. he noticed me fixing little things, me staring at others, willing myself not to get up and fix them. he diagnosed me. i have bad ocd. he prescribed me medicine. my mom got it for me, but she kept staring at me like i was filthy, wrong. let me explain something to you, my family is popular. unfortunately enough. my dad was some goverment guy or something, and with mom being the perfect wife and mother she is, she's well liked. rosie and penny are the golden daughters, parents wish they were their children. and i'm the same as them. on the outside. i get good grades, i don't smoke, don't drink, say the right things at the right times. but it's an act. i don't know about mom, dad, rosie, or penny, but i always feel like it's a lie. like i'm faking who i am. but anyway, that's why my mom was so disgusted by the fact i needed medicine to be 'normal.' what would people thin if they found out that johnny leons, the perfect son, had major ocd? i'm sure that's my mom's train of thought right now, as we drive home from the doctor. i'm sure of it."

APRIL 29TH, 2009.
"what can i say today? i haven't written in a few months. school's been busy, home's been busy, and i stopped taking my medicine. nobody knows that though. but i just didn' feel like taking it one day, so i didn't. then the day after that, and so on. my ocd's still bad, mom still thinks i'm taking my medicine, still doesn't like it."

JUNE 24TH, 2009.
"finals over, school's out. summer's here finally. i like the summer, it's warm out. you can go swimming and go to the beach and all that fun stuff. i love to swim. so i'm looking forward to that. plus, no school. no homework. no teachers. what could be better than that?"

AUGUST 17TH, 2010.
"it's been over a year since i've written anything. life was busy. i was grounded for two months too. no kidding. mom and dad found out i stopped taking the ocd medicine. boy they were pissed. and then they tried to get me to take my medicine again, but i refused. that's why i was grounded for so long. but they gave up eventually. and i guess i should say why i'm writing today. it's my birthday. sweet sixteen, guess i should be happy. but there's too many people here, too many things bothering me. so i felt like i needed to write."

JANUARY 4RD, 2011.
"well, this time two years ago i was sitting at the doctor's. now i'm sitting in an empty room, overflowing with brown boxes, labeled and full. we moved. some small town in virginia. i dont know anyone yet, but whatever. i'll find my way around here eventually. i should go unpack now. i'll write more later maybe."

goes to school. lives in silver city, virginia. knows english. from miami, florida. born on august 17th 1994.

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