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[sarah.]

charlotte anne kingston.

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"i've lived in the silver city all my life. no, really. the earlier childhood memories i have contain this place and no where else. have we even gone on vacation before? i don't think so. i'm not complaining... much. i mean, how long can one stand to be living here? i've decided for my nineteenth birthday i'm just going to.. leave. i don't know where or who with but i do know why. i'm just sick of it. everyone knows everyone and there's secrets and horrible, horrible skeletons in everyone's closets. figuratively and literally, i believe.

from a young age i was mostly passionate about being somewhere else but here. i didn't have any hobbies because my family never really let me do anything except go to church and go to my youth group. this leads me into the explanation for how well-rounded i am. or was. i was a really, really good kid. i listened to the way of the lord and followed the bible as best i could at four, five and six years old. i grew up, though, like everyone else! i didn't really believe for a while. at nine i only believe what i could see. i was a silly pre-teen, of course. i just needed something. so instead of an hour of church on sundays i defied my family and started to take ballet. i did that for five years, actually. ballet was my life for a long time because i felt things when i did. there was actually a helper.. she was--is four years older than i am. she left when i turned fourteen to go to college and suddenly the passion i had for dance left me.

ultimately, i started to think i had feelings for this older woman... well, she was a woman to me at the time. i was actually scared of this because, well, it's wrong. god didn't make a male and a female for fun. they are meant to be together because they fit. i decided this was when i should start going back to church because of this revelation. i spoke to my priest about it and he finally convinced me that those feelings i had for the girl was just admiration! it's not like i wanted to sleep with her, or anything! (okay well there were a few dreams and i did think about it sometimes while watching her dance, but i knew that would just complicate things if i mentioned it and i really don't wish to think about that again.) i began to go back to church again, much to my mother's happiness, and i volunteered for as many things as i could just to distract myself. i never really had time for a boyfriend.

my eighteenth birthday came around recently, and my friends were on my case about sexual intercourse. now, if i've never had a boyfriend why would i even think about something like that? i do believe that being celibate until marriage is a bit extreme, but honestly... i would not want to have sex with someone before i am good an ready. at this point i'm not sure how ready i'd be. i mean, thinking about having sex with a boy someone sort of repulses me! shouldn't it just happen if i want children?

anyways, i was always a popular girl in school. well, i mean i had a few friends... people apparently found me annoying. i have no idea why, it's not like i did anything to bother them! just because my grades stay around the high eighties and low nineties doesn't mean i'm a teacher's pet. i just work very hard so i can go anywhere i want to go... which leads to how i started off this whole thing. i would like to leave and have many options open. i love it here but i hate it, too. why would i want to continue to live in lies? it's sort of a sin, right?"

goes to silver city catholic secondary school. lives in silver city, ohio. knows english and french. from silver city, ohio. born on july 7th, 1992.

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